all i ever wished...

Thursday, February 06, 2014

was on a random chat with Juee like we usually do during our working hours...
and i was complaining to her about last night incident...
where my mum called out of a sudden when i was outside with baby...
*as though she just found out from her spy that i was outside so she called and checked on me*

and out of randomness Juee remembered about AhYi telling her these...
and she told me back...
so here is the proof on what she said...

i would like to make clarification here that...
i did got a little annoyed when they got invited to take the portrait with PoPo...
i admit that my face did changed a little for that few seconds...
*so glad that somebody was alert on that*
not because i am not happy with the couple...
*i am happy they made a perfect partner for each other*
i was pissed off because at that moment mum actually did insisted them to go on and take that picture...
and at that very moment deep down my heart i did cried out *WTF*...
because just imagine if baby is there...
i am quite 101% sure that my parents will not say 'Yes' for us both to take that portrait...
and probably to add more frustration on me...
mum would probably be showing off her pissed off black face to everyone...
*as though she was saying: no you're not part of the family you don't deserve to be in the picture*
and i guess nobody would even ask us to do so also..-_-


just in case you do not get this line:
"ur mom tell yima de laa.. then yima tell me"
what Juee was trying to say was that...
mum realised i was not happy and pissed off during the family dinner...
*mum was the one who found out i was unhappy?! WOW!! this should be jotted down in the world history record because it only happen once in a lifetime*
and mum told AhYi about it and Juee got to know it from there...

after clarification comes the confession...
just like what i said in Skype...
even if mum knew i was unhappy she never bother to give a damn concern on me...
not that i am trying to accuse my mum for being cold on me...
but just think it again...
if she really care for my feeling she should probably be asking me why am i not happy on the spot...
not ignoring me as though i was sitting two tables away from her...
i guess mum was trying to pretend not knowing anything...
continues her objection to our relationship...
and this is not going to end until the end of the world..-_-

i am not trying to put the blame on anyone...
but i just want things to be normal...
i just want to live a happy life with both my family and my baby...
but why my parents behave till this extend that they have to make me choose only either one?!
i never ask for blessings from the whole wide world...
all i ever want is just some supports and blessings from you both...
all i ever want is to be happy no matter i am with my family or with baby...
all i ever want is you both to say 'Yes' on our relationship...
to accept us to be together...
but years after years all i get was countless disappointments...
and what is more saddening is that things get worse and worse nowadays...
because too much 'tackles' from them ever since i moved to KL...

and the main point is WHY ONLY ME?!
why the hell all the unfairness come only to me?!
not complaining but the far too contrast treatments that my brother and me receive is just so pathetic...
it drives my tears down whenever i think about it...
i do wished that i could have someone who could give some guidance to me...
who have mutual understanding with me that is able to speak to my parents on my behalf...
because baby and me feel so lost when my parents being so cold to him...
but i know no one on our side when it comes to this...
no one understand how we feel...
and no one know how desperate am i to end all these...


all i ever wished was you being fair to me

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